Ok.... what has been happening lately?
Jessica and I have gone back and forth about lots of ideas, but we're starting to get this thing figured out.
We are 99.9% sure of June 23rd.
We have a photographer penciled in. We are meeting with him on Tuesday to talk with him and put down the deposit. (Thank you Kathleen and Paul for the suggestion! We think we're going with Bryan.)
We have a caterer penciled in. We are going to go over their proposal this weekend and put down our deposit.
Jessica bought a dress today!
From there, we just need to get an officiant and a tent, and the rings..... and the invitations, decorations, cake, booze, register for gifts, get my tux, reserve a hotel room.... but none of that is really too crazy. And we're not going too insane with any of that.
As for the wedding itself... Jessica is meeting with a priest tomorrow. I'm not. Jessica and her mom are. Yeah. Who's wedding is this??? It wasn't Jessica's choice- her mom set up the appointment. How convenient that I wasn't invited. I have a feeling that her mom will try to pressure her into agreeing to have the priest marry us. Problem:
1) We want an outdoor wedding.
2) We don't want to take any classes, and won't put off the wedding.
3) We aren't going to raise our kids catholic, nor will we sign anything that says we will.
I feel like this meeting will be a waste of Jessica's time. I was also really stressed out earlier in the week, wondering what my role really is - if Jessica did decide she wanted to get married in a church (assuming lets say that there was just a single class or something).... do I support her decision? Do I try to convince her that our original way was better? Do I put my foot down and say- no, getting married in a catholic church is against my beliefs? :) I really didn't know what to think. I'm not too worried now, as 1) I don't think there is a priest that would marry us without tons of classes and signing a document, and number 2) I feel like Jessica is going to stand up to her mom and just say no.
Expect a post from her about the meeting with the priest in the near future!!!
-Still not stressing!!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
The Magical Priest
I talked to my mom today and the conversation was surprisingly calm. She wanted to know if we had started making any plans or decisions for our wedding yet. I took a deep breath and told her that we were probably planning on having a small wedding ceremony outside, either in Ann Arbor somewhere or at Ben’s parents house, and then a small party at Ben’s parents house the next day. The only comment she had was that she still would really like it if I got married in a Catholic church. I explained to her that it probably wouldn’t be possible because 1) we wanted to have an outdoor wedding and priests don’t perform outdoor weddings, 2) we are planning on having the wedding in June and the classes a church requires you to take are at least 6-9 months long and 3) I’m not a member of a parish in Ann Arbor, I’m not a practicing Catholic, and Ben’s not Catholic nor baptized under any other religion. She still continued to push the issue saying that it didn’t matter that Ben wasn’t part of the Catholic church. I told her that I understood that, however, we had talked to friends that have been married in the church and we even contacted a church and they all told us that it would take at least 6-9 months to be able to be married by a priest. Waiting 6-9 months doesn’t work within the time frame we are looking at. She then ended the conversation by saying that she was going to do some investigating on her own by contacting different Catholic churches in the area. It’s fine by me if she wants to find out information for us, but unless she finds some magical priest who is willing to marry us as is, we will most likely not end up getting married by a priest. However, if she is able to find a priest, Ben and I have no objection talking to him and seeing if it is a possibility.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Can I have a date?
Because tomorrow is my birthday, Jessica and I went to my parent's house to see them for the first time since I proposed. Short story short: they're very happy for us, and very willing to go along with whatever wedding style we choose. Now we need to choose a date..... and we have preliminarily chosen the weekend of June 23rd.
Why do I say weekend? Well, because here is what we're thinking so far (nothing for certain yet!!!): Jessica and I get married on Saturday, June 23rd - our current idea is to invite immediate family only (parents, siblings - no significant others for the siblings/her divorced parents). After the wedding, the pictures. After pictures, dinner out at a restaurant - maybe a private room or something. We'll see. Then- Sunday, June 24th - the "reception" - a backyard bbq, maybe at my parents' house. This would include the family from the previous day, plus significant others for the sisters/divorced parents, plus friends. We would still probably keep this small, limited to roughly 40 people. Dress would be casual- not even "sunday best". Decorations? Not really needed.... Entertainment? Maybe some board games, a nintendo Wii or 2 set up... maybe some frisbee golf or even some regular golf (chipping/short irons) set up (my parents have 10 acres- though only about 2 acres are grass)....We're looking to keep this as relaxed as possible. If we start to stress about it, then we're doing it wrong.
Why do I say weekend? Well, because here is what we're thinking so far (nothing for certain yet!!!): Jessica and I get married on Saturday, June 23rd - our current idea is to invite immediate family only (parents, siblings - no significant others for the siblings/her divorced parents). After the wedding, the pictures. After pictures, dinner out at a restaurant - maybe a private room or something. We'll see. Then- Sunday, June 24th - the "reception" - a backyard bbq, maybe at my parents' house. This would include the family from the previous day, plus significant others for the sisters/divorced parents, plus friends. We would still probably keep this small, limited to roughly 40 people. Dress would be casual- not even "sunday best". Decorations? Not really needed.... Entertainment? Maybe some board games, a nintendo Wii or 2 set up... maybe some frisbee golf or even some regular golf (chipping/short irons) set up (my parents have 10 acres- though only about 2 acres are grass)....We're looking to keep this as relaxed as possible. If we start to stress about it, then we're doing it wrong.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Let the fun begin!
I still don’t think it has sunk in yet that I’m engaged and that I’m going to be getting married. One reason is that I still haven’t been able to pick up my ring from the jewelers. We took it in last week Thursday to get it resized and it’s been a week already! I’m constantly checking my phone to see if they called because I just want to wear it!
Anyways, everybody was really excited when I told them about being engaged. My mom even seemed like she was somewhat excited, however, I was just waiting for her to interject her two cents. For those of you who don’t already know, my mom is extremely opinionated and very stubborn when it comes to seeing other people’s viewpoints (especially mine). So, we were talking on the phone and she said that she had one request that I follow on my wedding day…that I get married by a priest. She wanted me to promise that a priest would marry Ben and I and that if we weren’t married by a priest, a lot of my family (everybody on my mom’s side) would be very disappointed in me. I couldn’t promise her on the phone because I didn’t want to commit to something that Ben and I weren’t interested in doing. After informing Ben about what she said, we decided to find out what the different requirements were to get married by a priest. At that point, I was willing to possibly let a priest marry us because it would stop my mom from being upset and disappointed in me for at least the next four months and probably longer. This is our wedding, one of the happiest days of our lives, and I can just imagine it being a nightmare if I don’t follow what she says. The next day Ben called a local Catholic church and was told the following:
1) We would probably need to join a particular parish in order to be married by them – we are not looking to join a parish.
2) We would need to take the marriage preparation courses. They typically last 9 months. Some parishes might do it in 6, but most in this diocese (Lansing Diocese) are 9 months. They will not marry you without this. There are no shortcuts. Which means even if we managed to find one with 6 months, we wouldn't be able to get married until September (IF we started classes now) – we want to get married in late June or early July
3) We would have to agree to raise our children catholic – we don’t want to force a specific religion upon our children
I also imagine that the fact that neither of us is interested in the Catholic church and the only reason we would be there is to make my mom happy would also be an issue with a priest. We made an effort to look into getting married by a priest, but Ben and I just don’t feel like getting married by a priest because it doesn’t fit either of our interests.
I still haven’t broken the news to my mom yet, but I’m expecting a not so pleasant experience. I’m ok with that though. This is our wedding and we are going to get married the way we want to. I’ll keep everyone posted with the reaction of my mom. Maybe she’ll have a change of heart.
Anyways, everybody was really excited when I told them about being engaged. My mom even seemed like she was somewhat excited, however, I was just waiting for her to interject her two cents. For those of you who don’t already know, my mom is extremely opinionated and very stubborn when it comes to seeing other people’s viewpoints (especially mine). So, we were talking on the phone and she said that she had one request that I follow on my wedding day…that I get married by a priest. She wanted me to promise that a priest would marry Ben and I and that if we weren’t married by a priest, a lot of my family (everybody on my mom’s side) would be very disappointed in me. I couldn’t promise her on the phone because I didn’t want to commit to something that Ben and I weren’t interested in doing. After informing Ben about what she said, we decided to find out what the different requirements were to get married by a priest. At that point, I was willing to possibly let a priest marry us because it would stop my mom from being upset and disappointed in me for at least the next four months and probably longer. This is our wedding, one of the happiest days of our lives, and I can just imagine it being a nightmare if I don’t follow what she says. The next day Ben called a local Catholic church and was told the following:
1) We would probably need to join a particular parish in order to be married by them – we are not looking to join a parish.
2) We would need to take the marriage preparation courses. They typically last 9 months. Some parishes might do it in 6, but most in this diocese (Lansing Diocese) are 9 months. They will not marry you without this. There are no shortcuts. Which means even if we managed to find one with 6 months, we wouldn't be able to get married until September (IF we started classes now) – we want to get married in late June or early July
3) We would have to agree to raise our children catholic – we don’t want to force a specific religion upon our children
I also imagine that the fact that neither of us is interested in the Catholic church and the only reason we would be there is to make my mom happy would also be an issue with a priest. We made an effort to look into getting married by a priest, but Ben and I just don’t feel like getting married by a priest because it doesn’t fit either of our interests.
I still haven’t broken the news to my mom yet, but I’m expecting a not so pleasant experience. I’m ok with that though. This is our wedding and we are going to get married the way we want to. I’ll keep everyone posted with the reaction of my mom. Maybe she’ll have a change of heart.
Let it begin!
The sweating is over! After weeks of hiding the ring, and lying about why we were going to Hawaii, I finally did it - I asked my girlfriend to marry me! Now I don't have a girlfriend. I have a fiancee. Lucky for me, my FIANCEE (sorry- I need to break the habit of referring to her as my girlfriend) isn't one of those women that wants to have an overblown wedding. She wants something low-key, which is exactly what I want. Hooray!
And that brings us to this blog. Jessica and I have started this to document our journey into marriage.... and its going to be a very short trip- we want to get married this summer! But thats not all- we don't want anything traditional.... small, something not in a church, no best man, no groomsmen, no maid of honor, no bridesmaids, and no guests dressed up. How will that work out for us? Join us here to find out.
And that brings us to this blog. Jessica and I have started this to document our journey into marriage.... and its going to be a very short trip- we want to get married this summer! But thats not all- we don't want anything traditional.... small, something not in a church, no best man, no groomsmen, no maid of honor, no bridesmaids, and no guests dressed up. How will that work out for us? Join us here to find out.
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